Posted by Jerry Hinnen
LSU WILL WIN IF: any of the following do not happen: 1. Les Miles decides to drive the team bus to the stadium himself, takes a wrong turn or three, and several hours later decides that since they're already at Rock City, they might as well stop and see it 2. a bizarre eleventh-hour ruling from a local Oxford judge results in Gatorade becoming a banned substance within city limits, and the unknowing Tigers are arrested upon their arrival at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium on charges of "synthetic water" possession 3. Jordan Jefferson throws a series of interceptions, Brad Wing has an off-game, and Randall Mackey hits just enough big plays that LSU's usual domination of field position is negated--and without it, a Rebel defense that's given up 98 points their past three games to Auburn, Kentucky and Louisiana Tech gets just enough stops to squeak out a win in front of an energized home crowd.
Of these three scenarios, we find the third one least likely.
OLE MISS WILL WIN IF: inspired by their head coach, LSU's 30 to 35 best players decide to hold a team-building exercise in which they travel en masse to an area "park" and sample the local "grass." Unfortunately, the "park" is a farm's heavily-pesticided soybean field and the "grass" soybean leaves coated with enough chemicals to leave the entire group in the hospital for the weekend. Or if a spaceship landed on the field just before kickoff, declaring via loudspeaker it had come to return Houston Nutt to his home planet, and--
Fine, we'll be serious for a moment. If Mackey takes care of the ball and hits a few throws downfield to loosen up a hole here or there for the ground game, if Jefferson and Lee are way off their games, if Nutt pulls the final remaining trick plays out of his bag and they all work, if the Rebel defensive line plays out of its mind and forces enough three-and-outs to avoid field position devastation ... yes, Ole Miss could hang around. And maybe, just maybe, in the sense that if a million monkeys banged out a million scripts for this game one would eventually type the words "OLE MISS WINS," this game could wind up following that millionth script. But we wouldn't bet on it.
THE X-FACTOR: If a game is played at Ole Miss and the mascot doesn't watch it because he's got a box on his head, did it even happen?